RUNNING GAME

Hey.

Am I running game? I mean, does getting what you expect from people amount to make fool of them? Yesterday I decided to meet a guy from the web. Nick. I had already been chatting with him for a few weeks ago when I suddenly made this decision. Not that I was particularly attracted to him, -he was just a guy next door-, but I found him pretty cool. So I did what any bachelor would have done: I dated him.

So we went out for a drink and, one thing leading to one another, I found myself back on his couch. But that's not what you're thinking. Not yet. We had spent a great moment at the bar, so we just thought it would be nice to end the night up to his place. And..I guess it's no use to mention how people get sexier after a few drinks...Anyway, we went to watch out a movie on television, that was next to his bed..of course. And we started cuddling.

I was not looking for what came up after that. Truly. I didn't want to go further. I didn't plane it. You can trust me. But I was there. In his bed (!). And he wanted me. I just didn't want him to think I was teasing him. That I had turned him on, and then, nothing. So I gave him what he expected from me..

I'm not a victim. That's not what I'm saying. But that night, I had sex for..convenience. I gave my body like I was giving a hand. Somehow, maybe I was using him too. He was keeping me away from sorrow. From harm. From loneliness.

The day after, I couldn't stand it anymore. I told him I just couldn't. Surprisingly, He was pretty cool about that. He even asked me for us to keep in touch. That's how I suddlenly understood something had changed. About me; about the world. Yeah at that moment I understood I was..an adult.

"It's a funny thing. An unpredictable dance of nature. People meeting people. Like tiny little molecules floating in the air. Sometimes they stick, form new elements. Or they simply bounce off."

So that's what real life looks like. What an adult life looks like. A world where a night is just a night; and a date is no big deal. A world where having sex and then just going away is not running game. A world where people are passing by, as many entertainements. Not to get bored when desperatly looking for someone to match with.

..I feel like I grew up too fast..